Friday, July 4, 2014

Here we are into July!

--Random thoughts --

June was a decent month, I had 1 week basically of losing it but for the most part I kicked serious ass! 

July has been great so far!! I got on the scale this morning and I'm down to 176. so that's 22 pounds since April's restart!! I am starting to become leaner again and that defiantly makes me happy!! Sucked having all my clothes too damn tight!!!   I was miserable, reminded me of when I was at my highest and how nothing ever fit ughhhh I just don't want to go back there ever!! That was such an ugly place in my life --I REFUSE!- 

 I guess the biggest thing for me is 
sure I've had my ups and downs, but through all of it, I have NEVER quit, I may get sidetracked for a day or a week or even a month, but I refuse to quit! 

 I have a few friends who've lost a bunch a weight like me and for some reason they've just  stopped,, life has happened, got in the way, whatever it is  and now they've either gained it all back or gained a big portion back, :(   that really breaks my heart, I hate to see them struggling,  I wish I could do something to help motivate them and support them, but I know that when they're ready they'll do it again, hopefully they know if they need me I'm always here.

 I don't EVER EVER want to see my highest weight again!! I nearly lost it when I climbed back to nearly 200, that was motivation enough for me to fix this yet I still struggled for nearly a month before moving forward! Getting restarted has been a challenge,  when I was doing it day in an and out it was easy peasy, but wrapping my brain around restarting has been hard, I think the embarrassment and stuff of gaining was like a hold on me... had to kick that stuff out before I could refocus.  I honestly think this time has been harder than anything I've dealt with before, maybe because I'm alone, single, kids gone a lot I dunno but dammit!!  I'm determined to keep going though.


I'm going on a cruise on the 13th - for 6 days so I've got to stay focused and on track until then!! I would so love to lose another 5 pounds before I go, but I'll take what I can get! LOL

When I get back from the cruise it will be beast mode all the way and work really really really hard to hit my goals by the end of the month (170 ) - I know being on the cruise will add a little but I am NOT going to go crazy with the food and I will be exercising daily!!

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